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Written by Jessie McNaughton
on September 13, 2016


If you are pregnant and considering placing your baby for adoption, you have many options.  While making your decision, it is important to remember that the choices are yours and yours alone.  No one in your life (family members, friends, lawyers, judges, social workers, doctors, etc.) can force or coerce you to parent the child or to place the child for adoption.  Even if you are under 18, you are free to make the choice to place your child for adoption.  The choices are all yours, always. 




Some people who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption are afraid that if they talk to social workers, lawyers or adoption agencies they will be pressured to give up their baby or place the baby with a certain family.  Many fear that they will be persuaded to do something against their will.  Our core belief at Family Connections is that every person has the right to self-determine, which means to make their own decisions without pressure or outside influence.  If you are thinking of placing your baby for adoption, we are here to educate your about your choices and support whatever decision you make.  If you decide to place your baby with an adoptive family, we will help you make your plan, meet possible adoptive families and support you during your journey.  If you would like to talk to an adoption professional and ask questions about your options, we will never pressure you to make a certain decision. 


You have many choices when considering adoption..


You can choose the best fit you and your baby’s needs.  You have the right to choose the type of adoption you want- open, semi-open or confidential (closed) adoption.  You also have the right to choose the family to place your baby with. You can also choose, not to make these choices, and to let the agency make these decisions. Always remember, that you can alter your plan at any time before placement.  Placement occurs after you give birth. Your adoption plan is just that- a plan.


Open Adoption  


Open adoptions are the most common types of adoption today.  Many women experiencing unplanned pregnancies are afraid that if they place their child for adoption, they will never see or hear from them again.  This belief comes from how adoptions were done in the past few decades. Thankfully, in today’s world, birth parents can choose to have an open adoption. This means that they CAN have a relationship with their child and their child’s adoptive family.  Open adoption relationships are unique to each adoption and vary greatly. 


The level of openness with the adoptive family depends upon your choices. Most open adoptions are characterized by:


  1. You meet and choose the family for your child,
  2. You and the adoptive family share identifying information, 
  3. You development of a relationship with adoptive parents prior to the child’s birth (if possible), and
  4. You maintain a relationship with the adoptive parents and child throughout the child’s childhood through pictures, letters and face-to-face visits.   


In New York, you and the adoptive parents will sign a post-adoption contact agreement that legally outlines your contact with the child and the adoptive family.  This agreement is legally binding and ensures that you will have contact with your child after the adoption is finalized. 


Semi-Open Adoption


You can also choose a semi-open adoption.  In this type of adoption, you and the adoptive family come to an agreement on what information you would like to share.  For example, you and the adoptive family may only exchange first names or the name of the town in which they live.  Family Connections, Inc. would know all of the identifying information for you and the adoptive family, but would hold that information in confidence.  You may choose a family for your child from family profiles or meetings with prospective adoptive parents.  You and adoptive family may or may not develop a relationship with each other prior to and/or after the birth of the child (based upon your wishes).   You may or may not request post adoption contact (e.g. pictures/letters regarding the child’s growth).  Any post adoption contact requested by you would be maintained through Family Connections, Inc.  Your wishes determine the degree of openness.


Confidential Adoption 


Another choice is a confidential/closed adoption.  In a confidential adoption your identity and the identity of the adoptive parents is held in strict confidence. The adoptive family will not know who you are and you will not be told the adoptive family’s identifying information.  You may specify the characteristics of the adoptive family you wish for your child.  You may choose the adoptive family from family profiles and/or meet the adoptive family; it is up to you!  If you decide not to choose the adoptive family, Family Connections, Inc. will chose an adoptive family who meets your criteria.  A confidential adoption guards the identity of the birth mother, birth father, child, and adoptive parents.


Choosing an Adoptive Family


You can choose the family for your child!  Family Connections has many qualified adoptive parents who are waiting to become parents.  Our families waiting to adopt are unable to give birth to a biological child and are looking forward to parenting a child through adoption.   

You can specify the family characteristics that are important to you, for example:


  • The religion of the adoptive parents
  • Type of family (two-parent family, traditional stay-at-home mom, two career couple, same sex couple, single parent, childless couple, multi-child family)
  • Racial composition of the family
  • Education level of adoptive parents
  • Age of adoptive parents
  • Financial status of family
  • Place of residence (city, suburban, rural)
  • Any other characteristic important to the birth parent


Once Family Connections, Inc. understands your preferences for adoptive families, the agency will present you with families who wish to be considered for the adoption of your child.  You will receive a profile of each family that contains pictures of the family and information about the family (hobbies, family traditions, professions, family make-up, other children if any, etc).  From these profiles, you may choose a family or may request to meet two or three of the families before making your decision.  After reviewing the family profiles and/or meeting with prospective adoptive families, you can make your choice.  Again, like all other aspects of adoption, your choice of a family will not be influenced by our agency, a counselor, a lawyer, a judge, a doctor, etc. 


The decision belongs to you! 


Adoption is a choice.


Family Connections, Inc., can provide you with information, guidance and support as you consider all of your options.  The possibilities are many and the decisions are yours.


If you would like to learn more about your adoption options or have any questions, please feel free to contact us.  Our caring adoption professionals, Anita and Dan, will be happy to speak with you, explain the process and answer your questions.  You can click the button below to ask us your questions, give us a call at (607) 756-6574 or (800) 535-5556 or email us at info@adoptfamilyconnections.org.  We will be happy to speak with you!


Ask Us Your Adoption Questions



You can also learn more by downloading our free guide for birth families here: 


Get a free adoption guide for birth families here.


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