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Writing Adoption Reference Letters
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Written by Nancy S
on December 18, 2015


So you have been asked to write a reference letter for a friend or family member who is adopting, what do you need to write?  Adoption reference letters are an important part of the home study process.  You have been asked to write this letter because you are able to provide key information about your friend/family member’s character, personality, and interactions with children.  Here are the elements of a reference letter:

  • Be sure to include your name and address on the letter and the date.
  • You will need to sign your reference letter and mail the original to the home study agency.
  • Include how you know the person you are writing the reference letter for and how long you have known them.
  • If you have witnessed the individual or couple’s involvement with children, either your children or others, tell how they interact and what qualities they have that would make them good parents
  • Include information about their marriage/relationship
  • Describe their strengths and character
  • If they are currently parenting, describe their parenting skills/strengths
  • Write about each person
  • Tell if you would recommend them as adoptive parents and why


Remember that an adoption reference letter is a testament to how you know these people and what characteristics they have that would make them good parents.  An adoption reference letter does not have to be long, it needs to be honest and descriptive of the person/couple looking to become adoptive parents. 


You can fax or email your letter to your adoption agency but they will also want the original signed letter sent to them for their files.  If you have any questions about adoption reference letters the requesting home study agency will certainly be able to help answer your questions.


Below is a sample of an adoption reference letter:


November 30, 2015


To Whom It May Concern:


I have personally known Joe and Susie Smith for the past 10 years.  We first met at a church dinner and have been friends ever since.  Joe and Susie are the kind of friends you can rely on and are always there to help you when needed.  They are honest, strong and moral people who would make wonderful parents.


Joe and Susie have a strong marriage. They work together to solve problems and they are very genuine and loving towards each other.  They always support and help each other throughout the many ups and downs of life.


Joe and Susie have taken care of our three children on many occasions and they are completely trustworthy with the care of our children.  We are always confident that our children are well supervised and cared for in our absence.  They are quick to play a game with them or read them a story.  Our children look forward to spending time with Joe and Susie when they come to our home.


Joe and Susie possess all the qualities that would make them good parents, they are gentle but firm, patient, organized, caring, loving, and secure.  Any child coming into their home would certainly feel loved and provided for.



Joe is a very positive and helpful person who would be a wonderful father.  He is always quick to help with projects at our church and in the community.


Susie is a very warm and kind person who would be a very loving and nurturing mother.  Susie teaches the preschool Sunday school class at our church, always engaging the children in fun and educational activities.


I highly recommend Joe and Susie as adoptive parents.




 Family Connections is an authorized New York State child placing agency that has achieved Hague accreditation through the Council on Accreditation.  Family Connections provides adoption services for families adopting domestically or internationally.  If you are interested in learning more about adoption you can call Anita or Renee at 607-756-6574 or 1-800-535-5556. You can learn more about adoption through the Family Connections magazine by clicking on the link below.


Want to Adopt? Click Here for a Free Adoption Magazine



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