Adopting a child of a different race than yours is common place in today's society. Many adoptive parents choose to become a multiracial family through domestic or international adoption. Trans-racial families are redefining the classic definition of family. However, trans-racial families are still considered different, unique, atypical, and unusual by most persons in our society.
Thus, like all differences, trans-racial families peek the curiosity of others and often lead to questions that adoptive parents need to be prepared to answer.
For example, my trans-racial family often gets asked ...
Are those your kids? or Is that your parent?
Where did your kids come from? or What country are you from?
Are they real siblings? or Is that your sister/brother?
Do they speak English? or Why don't you speak .... Chinese, Spanish, etc.?
How you as the adoptive parents respond to these questions is important to the well-being of your family and to the identity development of your child.
Consideration when Responding to Questions about Your Family:
- Your child's privacy is paramount
- Your child's right to choose if, when, how, and who will respond to questions is critical
- Your child's emotional well-being supersedes a stranger's curiosity
- Your child's adoption story belongs to them
Strategies for Success
- Be truthful
- Provide generalizations
- Create positive images
- Educate the questioner
- Role play with your child prior to potential questions
- Use humor
- Understand the questioner - what is the purpose of his/her question
- Ignore (if appropriate) - does this question or person warrant a response
There is many resources to help you answer questions regarding your unique family. There is adoption literature available through Tapestry Books. There are many articles in adoption magazines featured in Adoption Today, Adoptive Families, and Family Connections. Networking with other families who have adopted trans-racially is also helpful. Check with your local adoption agency for support groups in your area.
Family Connections, Inc. is an authorized New York adoption agency that has achieved Hague Accreditation from the Council on Accreditation. The Agency has been supporting trans-racial adoptive families for twenty years. The agency supports families throughout New York State including, Syracuse, Binghamton, Elmira, Corning, Rochester, Albany, Ithaca, and New York City. To learn more about trans-racial adoption, please contact Anita or Dan at 607-756-6574 or at info@adoptfamilyconnections.org. We would be honored to support your adoption plans and support your trans-racial family.
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