So, who is a birth mother? She is any woman who is faced with an unplanned pregnancy and who may not be ready or able to parent the child. She may be a teenager, young adult or mature woman. She may be single or involved in a committed relationship. She may be economically secure or financially unstable. She may be from any ethnic heritage. She may be a victim of assault or abuse. She may be well educated or a student of life. She may be supported by loving family or experience difficult or abusive relationships. She may be healthy or experience physical health, mental health and/or addiction concerns.
Every birth mother is unique, but they all have common traits. Every birth mother:
- makes a loving and selfless choice to give life to her child
- loves their baby
- has the ability to look beyond themselves and consider the best interests of their child above their own needs
- has the forethought to plan for their child in the making of an adoption plan with adoptive parents
- has the ability to make good choices and important decisions
- are willing to experience the emotional loss of their child in exchange for the peaceful feeling of knowing their birth child is treasured in their adoptive home
- Many birth mothers also stand up against family members, friends, and society pressures that question or negatively judge their decision to make an adoption plan for their child
- is loving, courageous, sacrificial, thoughtful, proactive, selfless, …
Each birth mother faces choices. The first choice a birth mother makes is to give life to her child. She then must decide what is in the best interests of her child and herself – should she parent the child or make an adoption plan for the child. There will be many factors that influence her decision about parenting. For example, does she have the financial resources needed to raise a child, does she have the support of the birth father or other family members in parenting, can she provide a safe environment for the child (e.g. free from abuse and drugs), is she physically and mentally healthy, and is she mature enough to parent a child.
If the birth mother decides that adoption is the right choice for her child and herself, she will have many options to consider. She may wish to have a closed (confidential) adoption in which she and the adoptive family do not know each other and have no contact before or after the adoption. She may want to have a semi-open adoption where she chooses the adoptive family for her child and may to decide to get to know the family prior to the adoption. After the adoption, she would then receive pictures and updates regarding the child . The birth mother may also wish to have an open adoption with the adoptive family. She would pick the family for her child, spend time getting to know the family before the adoption and then have an on-going relationship with the child and adoptive family after the adoption. The birth mother and adoptive family would exchange pictures and letters and have face-to-face visitations. Family Connections has many qualified adoptive parents who are respectful of the choices of birth mothers; click here to view our agency's waiting families. There are many options within adoption. The birth mother designs her child’s adoption and makes choices that are in the best interests of her child and herself.
Every birth mother is an exceptional woman who makes life-changing decisions. It is with tremendous respect and admiration that we say “thank you” to every birth mother who makes the decision to give their child life and their child a family through adoption.
To learn more about your adoption options, please contact Renee or Anita at Family Connections, Inc. (an authorized New York adoption agency) at 607-756-6574 or 1-800-535-5556 or email@example.com. All communications are confidential. You can also download our free Adoption Guide by clicking below. We look forward to supporting you.