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Written by Renee Hettich
on September 02, 2016

Recently, I and my co-worker at Family Connections, Inc. accompanied a birth mother to a park to visit with her birth child and his adoptive family; they share a respectful open adoption relationship.  At the end of the visit, the birth mother told us that she felt great knowing that her birth child is thriving in his home and cherished by his adoptive family.

 

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At the visit, everyone had fun playing and catching up with each other.  The birth mother and adoptive family enjoyed reconnecting after a year (they visit with each other annually).  The birth mother was amazed at ... how big her birth child has gotten, how cute he was, how busy a toddler can be, and how much he is loved by his adoptive family (parents and big sister).

 

During this birth mother's pregnancy she decided to make an adoption plan for her child.  She spoke to our agency regarding her adoption options and talked to us about her preferences for an adoptive family.  She wished for an open adoption in which she would choose the adoptive parents, meet the family, and receive pictures and letters regarding her birth child's growth and development.  She wasn't sure if she wanted post-adoption visitation with her birth child. 

 

Based upon the birth mother's preferences and adoption wishes, our agency provided her with an array of prospective adoptive parentsfor her consideration.  After reviewing family profiles, she asked to meet with a family whom she thought was just what she was hoping for.  Our agency arranged for the birth mother to meet the family and we all went out for lunch for them to get to know each other.  The birth mother and adoptive family "clicked" and they quickly developed a caring relationship.  The birth mother and adoptive family got together again before the baby's birth. 

 

After building a trusting relationship, the birth mother asked for the adoptive parents to be present at the hospital at the child's birth and then spend time with the child throughout his hospital stay.  Less than an hour after the baby's birth, he was in the arms of his adoptive parents at the request of his birth mother.  The birth mother and adoptive family rejoiced togeter in the child's birth and supported one another throughout the child's time in the hospital.  The birth mother watched the adoptive parents shower her birth child with love and affection.  Although sorrowful, the birth mother was confident in her decision to place her child into their home and was very peaceful about her decision.  She knew her birth child would be loved and cherished.

 

After developing a open relationship with the adoptive parents, the birth mother and adoptive parents felt comfortable and positive having a more open adoption and agreed to get together once a year in addition to sending pictures and letters.  The birth mother and adoptive family look forward to their annual meetings and always enjoy their time together.

 

All open adoptions come out of trusting, honest, and caring relationships between adoptive parents and birth parents.  In New York State, agency adoptions can also have Post Adoption Contact Agreements that are legal contracts between a birth parent and adoptive parent that detail the agreed upon post adoption contact (e.g. pictures/letters and/or visitation).  These agreements help to clarify post adoption contact exceptations and are court enforceable. 

 

At the end of the birth mother's and adoptive family's visit at the park, the birth mother explained to us that seeing her birth child and his family gave her great joy.  It helped her:

  • know that her birth child was safe, healthy, and developing well
  • see her child as a toddler rather than that newborn infant she remembers
  • reaffirm her decision to place her child into a loving home; she knows that she did the right thing for her birth child
  • know her child is adored and loved by his adoptive family
  • see her birth child happy

 

Family Connections, Inc. supports birth parents and adoptive parents build positive open adoption relationships.  All families waiting to adopt with Family Connections are looking forward to developing an open adoption relationship with a birth parent (if wanted by the birth parent).

 

If you wish to explore adoption as a loving option for you and your unborn child, please contact Anita or Renee at 1-800-535-5556 or anita@adoptfamilyconnections.org.  We look forward to supporting your adoption plans.  To learn more about your adoption options click below.

 

Download A Free Adoption Guide  for Birth Mothers

 

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