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For Central and Northern New York in cities such as Binghamton, Rochester and Syracuse, open adoptions are not as common as they are in places such as California. There seems to be some hesitation on the part of perspective families to enter into an open relationship with the birth mother who can potentially make their dreams of parenting come true. While the thought of committing to a long term relationship with a stranger you haven't yet met can be intimidating or even scary the reality of the experience is more often rewarding and can be very beneficial to the both the adoptive parents and the birth parent.
Because the process is not common in Binghamton, Rochester and Syracuse may be the reason for adoptive parents to seriously consider the process. In truth, both the birth parent and the perspective adoptive parents are cautious as they begin the process. You have to remember that being nervous and a little scared is normal at the beginning of all relationships. We have all had first days at school, a new job or a first date. In all of these situations, you worried about strangers liking you or accepting you. As you moved deeper into your relationships and learned more about the people at school, or work, you began to feel more comfortable and relaxed. The same is true when birth parents and adoptive parents meet. A birth mother can connect with a perspective adoptive family over a lunch or dinner enough to pursue the relationship. When a birth mother doesn't choose a perspective adoptive parent, it is disappointing to their end goal but the meeting itself can be enjoyable and can help the perspective adoptive family to make progress. They may feel more comfortable or act more like themselves and be less nervous for example the next time they meet a birth mother. Just like a job interview, you get better at interviewing the more you practice or have interviews.
At Family Connections our agency serves birth mothers, birth fathers and adoptive families in New York State. Many of our birth mothers and adoptive parents however do come from the Binghamton, Syracuse, and Rochester area. We are committed to providing birth mothers and fathers with the open adoption option as they make an adoption plan for their unborn child. Meeting perspective adoptive parents makes a birth mother and father more comfortable with placing their child into the home of the adoptive parent. With an agency negotiating the specifics of your open adoption, communication between the birth parent and the adoptive parent is documented and more clearly communicated and understood. Our current magazine has an article written by an adoptive parent telling the story of their open adoption experience.
In an agency adoption, the agreement becomes a part of the paperwork that transfers the custody of the child from the birth parent to the adoptive parent. This agreement is court enforceable. If you have a private adoption situation, a court enforceable agreement is not possible.
In our experience as an adoption agency, we often see reluctant adoptive parents become very excited about and committed to the open adoption process once they experience it. I have had no adoptive or birth family that has expressed regrets about making the choice for an open adoption. If adoptive parents in Binghamton, Syracuse and Rochester choose not to participate in openness in their adoptions, birth mothers will go elsewhere to find perspective adoptive parents for their child.
Open adoption is becoming increasingly more attractive to birth mothers and fathers as they look for families to parent their unborn children. Birth parents feel more comfortable placing their children in adoptive homes where they have met and know the family. There are also wonderful benefits for the adoptive family. The opportunity to know the birth family of your child is an incredible gift. This opportunity grows on you as the two families walk in relationship with each other. Knowing the adoptive family brings a birth mother and father much peace and satisfaction regarding their decision to place their child in an adoptive home. These are the words that they use. The person who benefits most however is the child who grows up knowing their adoption story and hearing their story from their parents. Open adoption is a win win win.
If you are a birth mother or father who is considering placing your child into an adoptive home consider choosing an open adoption where you can have the peace of knowing how your child is doing. If you are a perspective adoptive parent learn about open adoption. None of our adoptive parents have been sorry about participating in an open adoption. Check out our blogs and magazine articles that have been written by families that have open adoptions. Family Connections is currently recruiting families from Binghamton, Syracuse and Rochester who are interested in open adoption placements.
You can contact Dan or Angela at 607-756-6574 or info@adoptfamilyconnections.org
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