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Written by Anita Stevens
on September 27, 2016

Will my baby love me if I place him/her in an adoptive home? This is a question that almost every birth parent asks or thinks about when they are considering placing their child in an adoptive family.  It is a normal thought or consideration for most birth parents. The answer to this question - yes!   



If you, as a birth parent, make a decision to place your child with an adoptive family, the adoptive family will be forever grateful for the tremendous gift (a child) they received from you. The adoptive family will always honor you and speak with their child about your great love for him/her and your loving choice to place him/her for adoption.  Almost all adoptive parents come to adoption because they have lost a child or several children because of infertility, miscarriage, or death of a child that was born.  You, as a birth parent, are the only one who is able to make their dreams of becoming parents a reality.  To view families waiting and wanting to adopt with our agency click here.  Adoptive parents have tremendous respect and admiration for birth parent(s) and their decision to entrust their birth child to them.   

You, as a birth parent, have many adoption choices.  You may chose the adoptive family. When an adoptive family knows that the birth parents have chosen them, they have so much gratitude towards you, that it always translates to love.  An adoptive family cannot fail to love you when they love their child as this child is forever a part of you and your choice that made them parents (their dream).  This love they will teach to their child.  


Adoptive parents often (every time they talk to us about you) say things like, they believe that have the "best" birth mother or that they "feel they won the lottery" because their birth mother is so wonderful.  In over twenty years of being in practice I have never had an adoptive parent tell me that they didn't like their birth parent.  They use this possessive term (their birth parent) as they feel so connected to the birth mother.  In some religious families the birth parent is often added to the family names that the children are taught to pray for before bedtime.  Adoptive families often acknowledge the birth family on the day they celebrate "gotcha day" (the day the child joined their family by adoption).  All adoptive families honor their child's birth parent and ensure that their child knows that their birth parent loves them. 


You may choose the type of adoption you want (confidential/closed, semi-open, open).  In a confidential adoption, the birth family chooses the adoptive family but does not meet them or have an on-going relationship with them.  The adoptive family will know you chose them to love and care for your birth child; they will forever be grateful and communicate your love to their child.  In a semi-open adoption, the birth family typically chooses and meets the adoptive family prior to the child's birth and then receives pictures and letters about the child as they grow-up.  Again, the adoptive family will know you and be able to talk to their child about you and your loving decision to place him/her for adoption.  In an open adoption, the birth family and adoptive family agree to meet each other before the placement of the child and visit each other once or twice a year after placement throughout the baby's childhood.  In an open adoption, your birth child will come to know you and love you.  When birth families and adoptive families meet and visit, the bond can be stronger.  At Family Connections, we offer birth parents the choice of a confidential, semi-open or open adoption. The agency will explore all your options with you and respect your choices.  The type of plan you make with your agency can help you to be confident that your child will love you and respect your decision.  Know that all choices are yours and we would never pressure you to make a specific decision or pick a certain family.


All adoptive parents know that without you, the birth family, they would not be parents.  So if you ask "Will my baby love me if I place him/her in an adoptive family?"  The answer is YES, YES, YES!  

To learn more about your adoption options, please contact Anita or Dan at 1-800-535-5556 or 607-756-6574, or info@adoptfamilyconnections.org.  Contacting us will not obligate you to place your baby in an adoptive home- we are simply here to answer your questions and help you make a plan if that is what you decide to do.  All the decisions are yours and all calls and e-mails are kept 100% confidential.

Download A Free Adoption Guide  for Birth Mothers


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