Adoption is truly a choice. Birth parents make the decision whether to place their child for adoption or to parent the child. Sometimes birth parents are afraid to explore adoption as a choice for an unplanned pregnancy. Many fear that somehow they will be persuaded against their will to surrender their parental rights. Please know that NO person (family member, friend, lawyer, judge, social worker, doctor, employer, etc) can force or coerce a birth parent into placing their child with an adoptive family. If anyone attempted to pressure or coerce a birth parent to place their child for adoption, it would be certainly unethical and in New York State illegal. New York State adoption law has many protections in place to prevent a forced adoption.
The core belief and practice philosophy of Family Connections, Inc. (adoption agency) is that every person has the right to self-determine – to make their own choices without influence or pressure. Any plan for adoption is made solely by the birth parent and is a voluntary act. It can’t be stressed enough that no person can force a birth parent to place their baby in an adoptive family. Adoption is a voluntary choice.
Birth parents have an array of choices when making an adoption plan and can design a plan that best meets their and their baby’s needs. Birth parents are in the “driver’s seat” - they have the power of choice. Birth parents have the right to choose the type of adoption they wish for themselves and their child (e.g. confidential, semi-open, or open) and to choose the adoptive family they wish to place their child with.
Confidential Adoption: A birth parent may choose a confidential adoption (aka closed adoption). In a confidential adoption the identity of the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents is held in strict confidence. The adoptive family will not know the identity of the birth parent(s) and the birth parent(s) will not be told the adoptive family’s identifying information. The birth parent may specify the characteristics of the adoptive family they wish for their child and choose the adoptive family. A confidential adoption guards the identity of the birth mother, birth father, child, and adoptive parents.
Semi-Open Adoption: A birth parent may choose a semi-open adoption. In most semi-open adoption relationships, the birth family and the adoptive family agree on what identifying information is shared. For example, the birth family and the adoptive family may only exchange first names or the name of the town in which they live. The adoption agency would
know all of the identifying information for the birth parent and adoptive family, but would hold that information in confidence. The birth parent may choose to pick a family for their child from family profiles or meetings with prospective adoptive parents. The birth parent(s) and adoptive family may or may not develop a relationship with each other prior to and/or after the birth of the child (based upon the wishes of the birth parent). The birth parent may or may not request post adoption contact (e.g. pictures/letters regarding the child’s growth). Any post adoption contact requested by the birth parent would be maintained through a third party such as an adoption agency. The wishes of the birth parent determine the degree of openness.
Open Adoption: A birth parent may choose an open adoption. Open adoption relationships are unique to each birth parent, adoptive parents, and child and vary greatly. The level of openness with the adoptive family depends upon the choices of the birth family. Most open
adoptions are characterized by: a) the birth parent(s) meeting and choosing the family for their child, b) the sharing of identifying information between the birth and adoptive family, c) the
development of a relationship between the birth family and adoptive parents prior to the child’s birth (if possible), and d) the maintenance of a relationship between the birth parent, adoptive parents, and adopted child throughout the child’s childhood through pictures, letters and
visits.
The possibilities are many and the decisions belong to the birth family.
Again, adoption is a choice and within adoption a birth parent has many choices. An adoption agency, like Family Connections, Inc., can provide birth families guidance and support as they consider all of their options. To speak confidentially with an adoption professional, please contact Anita or Renee at 1-800-535-5556 or e-mail us at info@adoptfamilyconnections.org. We look forward to supporting your choices!
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